I've always liked these things, I remember getting something like this in junior high and using it several times to find out a lot about girls I was interested in. If this blog is going to end up being a complete portrait of who I am, it certainly needs the vital info. So onward!
100 Questions
1. Name: Blair
2. Middle Names: Edward
3. Province: Alberta
4. Place of Birth: Calgary
5. Zodiac Sign: Scorpio
6. Male or Female: Male
7. Bus most commonly taken: The #1 in Calgary. The #211 in Mtl I suppose.
8. School: McGill University
9. Occupation: Student/Running Aficionado
10. Initials: BEB
11. Screen Name: Wheatfield Soul
-Your Appearance-
12. Hair Color: Brown
13. Hair Length: Medium
14. Eye color: Depends on the light. Blue or Green.
15. Best Feature: My memory
16. Height: 6'1
17. Braces: No
18. Glasses: Yes
19. Age: 20
20. Diploma: BCom Finance/International Business
-Your 'Firsts'-
22. First best friend: Jesse Beckert
23. First Award: Not sure. The first one that mattered was the Indoor Soccer City Championship. 1998.
24. First Sport You Joined: Gymnastics
25. First thing you did today: Shower
26. First Real vacation: Summer 87, Waskesiu Lake, Saskatchewan
27. First thing you said when you were a baby: sun
28. First Love: Who knows? Only time.
- Favorites-
29. Movie: Chariots of Fire
30. TV Show: Lost
32. Artist: Burton Cummings
33. Song: Timeless Love
34. Food: Carrot Cake
35. Season: Summer
36. Candy: Swedish Berries
37. Sport: Track
38. Restaurant: When I'm in Mtl, The Keg!
39. Favorite Clothing: The mexico singlet or the flames jersey or the Go Pre shirt
40. Store: Westworld Computers
41. School Subject: History
42. Animal: Tiger
43. Book: Heir to the Empire (I know, I know)
44. Magazine: The Economist
-Currently-
46. What you did right before taking this survey: Watch The Emperor's Club
47. Single or Taken: Taken
48. Crying about: CMI
49. Eating: Nothing
50. Drinking: Hoegarden
53. Listening To: Bob Seger
54. Thinking About: Sleeping
55. Wanting: That's for me to know.
56. Enjoying: A break
-Future-
57. Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?: That's the real question isn't it. We'll leave it at "making a contribution"
58. Kids? 1 or 2
59. Want to be Married: In due time
60. Careers in Mind: Finance, Law....etc
-Which is Better with the Opposite Sex-
63. Hair color: Dark
64. Hair length: Long
65. Eye color: Green
66. Personality or Looks: Both (I have high standards)
67. Cute or sexy: Both
68. Unique Quality: Elegance
69. Hugs or Kisses: Both
70. Short or Tall: Slightly shorter than me.
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: Romantic
73. Good or Bad: Good.
74. Sensitive or Loud: Sensitive
75. Hook-up or Relationship: Relationship.
76. Harley or Car: Car
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: Hesitant one
-Have you ever-
78. Kissed a stranger: Yes
79. Smoked: No
80. Streaked: No
81. Ran Away From Home: No
82. Broken a bone: Technically
83. Got an X-ray: Yes
84. Gone skinny dipping: It's on the to-do list.
85. Broke Someones Heart: Yes
86. Dumped someone: Yes
87. Cried When Someone Died: Yes.
88. Cried At School: No
-Do You Believe In-
89. God: That question has a complicated answer. I would say yes.
90. Miracles: Depends on the definition
91. Love at First sight: No
92. Ghosts: No
93. Aliens: Yes
94. Soul Mates: Yes
95. Heaven: Again, complicated.
96. Hell: Ah, redundancy
98. Kissing on The First Date: Yes
99. Horoscopes: No. But I do enjoy them.
-Answer Truthfully-
100. Is there someone you're thinking about right now? Of course.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Flipsides
Classic. Just thinking about it sucks all the stress away for a few seconds. Phenomenal.
"Do you realize that I've been reading about this place since I was in junior high? The road to Olympic gold, Track Capital USA, The House that Bowerman Built.."
"You really know how to sweet talk a girl"
"I'll be coming down that back stretch, burning on all eight cylinders..."
Side 1- Enter Sandman, Metallica
Say your prayers little one
Don't forget, my son
To include everyone
Tuck you in, warm within
Keep you free from sin
Till the sandman comes
Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
Off to never never land
Somethings wrong, shut the light
Heavy thoughts tonight
And they aren't of Snow White
Dreams of war, dreams of liars
Dreams of dragons fire
And of things that will bite
Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
Off to never never land
Now I lay me down to sleep
Pray the lord my soul to keep
If I die before I wake
Pray the lord my soul to take
Hush little baby, dont say a word
And never mind that noise you heard
Its just the beast under your bed,
In your closet, in your head
Exit light
Enter night
Grain of sand
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
Were off to never never land
The Flipside- Night Moves, Bob Seger
I was a little too tall
Could've used a few pounds
Tight pants points hollerin' out
She was a black-haired beauty with big dark eyes
And points of her own sitting way up high
Way up firm and high
Out past the cornfields where the woods got heavy
Out in the back seat of my 60' Chevy
Workin' on mysteries without any clues
Workin' on our night moves
Tryin to make some front page drive-in news
Workin' on our night moves
In the summertime
In the sweet summertime
We weren't in love, oh no, far from it
We weren't searchin for some pie in the sky summit
We were just young and restless and bored
Livin' by the sword
And we'd steal away every chance we could
To the backroom, to the alley or the trusty woods
I used her, she used me
But neither one cared
We were gettin' our share
Workin' on our night moves
Tryin to lose the awkward teenage blues
Workin on our night moves
And it was summertime
And oh the wonder
We felt the lightning
And we waited on the thunder
Waited on the thunder
I awoke last night to the sound of thunder
How far off I sat and wondered
Started humming a song from 1962
Ain't it funny how the night moves
When you just dont seem to have as much to lose
Strange how the night moves
With autumn closing in
Night moves
Lord, I remember
Workin' and practicin'
Night moves
I remember
I remember
"Do you realize that I've been reading about this place since I was in junior high? The road to Olympic gold, Track Capital USA, The House that Bowerman Built.."
"You really know how to sweet talk a girl"
"I'll be coming down that back stretch, burning on all eight cylinders..."
Side 1- Enter Sandman, Metallica
Say your prayers little one
Don't forget, my son
To include everyone
Tuck you in, warm within
Keep you free from sin
Till the sandman comes
Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
Off to never never land
Somethings wrong, shut the light
Heavy thoughts tonight
And they aren't of Snow White
Dreams of war, dreams of liars
Dreams of dragons fire
And of things that will bite
Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
Off to never never land
Now I lay me down to sleep
Pray the lord my soul to keep
If I die before I wake
Pray the lord my soul to take
Hush little baby, dont say a word
And never mind that noise you heard
Its just the beast under your bed,
In your closet, in your head
Exit light
Enter night
Grain of sand
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
Were off to never never land
The Flipside- Night Moves, Bob Seger
I was a little too tall
Could've used a few pounds
Tight pants points hollerin' out
She was a black-haired beauty with big dark eyes
And points of her own sitting way up high
Way up firm and high
Out past the cornfields where the woods got heavy
Out in the back seat of my 60' Chevy
Workin' on mysteries without any clues
Workin' on our night moves
Tryin to make some front page drive-in news
Workin' on our night moves
In the summertime
In the sweet summertime
We weren't in love, oh no, far from it
We weren't searchin for some pie in the sky summit
We were just young and restless and bored
Livin' by the sword
And we'd steal away every chance we could
To the backroom, to the alley or the trusty woods
I used her, she used me
But neither one cared
We were gettin' our share
Workin' on our night moves
Tryin to lose the awkward teenage blues
Workin on our night moves
And it was summertime
And oh the wonder
We felt the lightning
And we waited on the thunder
Waited on the thunder
I awoke last night to the sound of thunder
How far off I sat and wondered
Started humming a song from 1962
Ain't it funny how the night moves
When you just dont seem to have as much to lose
Strange how the night moves
With autumn closing in
Night moves
Lord, I remember
Workin' and practicin'
Night moves
I remember
I remember
Friday, December 01, 2006
Kingmakers
This weekend is going to be one that resonates in Canadian politics for a long time. A number of different scenarios will play themselves out, and after watching closely the past few days, I'm not sure who I should be supporting in each of the races. In fact, whoever wins one will impact who I like in the other. So i thought I would take a few minutes to outline some of what I think before the results come in.
1. If Harper wins the next federal election, I like Dinning for Premier. In terms of electability, I feel like the four major liberal contenders fall in this order. Ignatieff, Rae, Kennedy, Dion. So I guess from this angle, I like Dion and Dinning to win this weekend.
2. If Harper loses the next election to Ignatieff or Kennedy, I still like Dinning. I feel like Ignatieff would get my vote if I was picking my personal favorite for Liberal leader. Kennedy impressed me tonight though. Both of those men have some strengths, and despite my dislike of the Liberals recently, I would be willing to give either the benefit of the doubt. Therefore, I would still pick Dinning for premier as the best man to negotiate Alberta's place within Canada. Ignatieff is my favorite Liberal candidate, so if one of them has to be PM, I'd rather it be him.
3. If Harper loses the next election to Dion, as remote a possibility as that is, I have a very hard time predicting what would happen. Dion's policy, beyond environmentalism and national unity, remains very much a mystery to me. I will say that since he was such a Chretien hardliner, I might expect something along those lines...but as for which premier would be the best fit if Dion were PM..no idea
4. If Harper were to lose to Rae, as much as I dislike social conservatism, Alberta needs Ted Morton. Everything that Morton, Harper et al. wrote in the Firewall Letter would become absolutely true, and Alberta needs a hardliner to fight someone who is essentially an NDP turncoat and prevent them from ruining our province. Being accomodating to a Bob Rae government would be suicide. If Albertans thought the NEP was bad..there's absolutely no predicting what Rae would do. All I know is that Ontario's economy took a nosedive when he was in charge, and I've never met an NDP'er who said "fiscal responsibility" and meant it. That includes Bob Rae.
5. From a Conservative point of view, there was one man who terrified me above all others at the Liberal convention tonight. Luckily for Harper, he's not one of the candidates this time around. The two minutes that Justin Trudeau spoke, introducing Kennedy, gave me the irrefutable impression that he will be the PM one day. He's a tremendous orator, he has a legendary name, he's fluently bilingual and hes is young, smart and as far as I can tell..a pretty good looking dude. Us Conservatives better be ready..and we better have a titan of our own ready to fight Trudeau in about 10 or 15 years. Harper, Day, Manning...none of them would stand a chance. We better start preparing now.
1. If Harper wins the next federal election, I like Dinning for Premier. In terms of electability, I feel like the four major liberal contenders fall in this order. Ignatieff, Rae, Kennedy, Dion. So I guess from this angle, I like Dion and Dinning to win this weekend.
2. If Harper loses the next election to Ignatieff or Kennedy, I still like Dinning. I feel like Ignatieff would get my vote if I was picking my personal favorite for Liberal leader. Kennedy impressed me tonight though. Both of those men have some strengths, and despite my dislike of the Liberals recently, I would be willing to give either the benefit of the doubt. Therefore, I would still pick Dinning for premier as the best man to negotiate Alberta's place within Canada. Ignatieff is my favorite Liberal candidate, so if one of them has to be PM, I'd rather it be him.
3. If Harper loses the next election to Dion, as remote a possibility as that is, I have a very hard time predicting what would happen. Dion's policy, beyond environmentalism and national unity, remains very much a mystery to me. I will say that since he was such a Chretien hardliner, I might expect something along those lines...but as for which premier would be the best fit if Dion were PM..no idea
4. If Harper were to lose to Rae, as much as I dislike social conservatism, Alberta needs Ted Morton. Everything that Morton, Harper et al. wrote in the Firewall Letter would become absolutely true, and Alberta needs a hardliner to fight someone who is essentially an NDP turncoat and prevent them from ruining our province. Being accomodating to a Bob Rae government would be suicide. If Albertans thought the NEP was bad..there's absolutely no predicting what Rae would do. All I know is that Ontario's economy took a nosedive when he was in charge, and I've never met an NDP'er who said "fiscal responsibility" and meant it. That includes Bob Rae.
5. From a Conservative point of view, there was one man who terrified me above all others at the Liberal convention tonight. Luckily for Harper, he's not one of the candidates this time around. The two minutes that Justin Trudeau spoke, introducing Kennedy, gave me the irrefutable impression that he will be the PM one day. He's a tremendous orator, he has a legendary name, he's fluently bilingual and hes is young, smart and as far as I can tell..a pretty good looking dude. Us Conservatives better be ready..and we better have a titan of our own ready to fight Trudeau in about 10 or 15 years. Harper, Day, Manning...none of them would stand a chance. We better start preparing now.
89 Dice
Right now there are at least 89 things flying around my head. This is going to be a stream of conciousness post.
1. This post will end with song lyrics
2. Life is crazy
3. I have a terrible finals schedule
4. I dont know what to do with my life
5. It's been too long
6. I want to go to Mexico
7. Damn I've been screwing things up
8. 89...pretty darn good
10. Awkwardness
11. If this doesn't work, I'm gonna be very mad with myself
12. Is I-banking too intense for me?
13. Do I really love Finance?
14. Would leaving it all behind for NZ really be that bad?
15. Can I write a post soon called "Beyond My Wildest Dreams"?
16. How hard is CMI actually going to be?
17. How hard could it possibly be to get a 79 on Fin 2?
18. Am I in good enough shapeto run 1:21?
19. Will I be by February?
20. Do I want to go to Law School?
21. Is elegance outmoded?
22. Why is it this time?
23. I like Sushi
24. I thought this was low-key
25. What the hell are dishes anyways?
26. Confidence and Success are far too correlated
27. I like straighforwardness
28. Straightforwardness gets me in trouble
29. Strangely, I dislike barging ahead
30. Equally strangely, not barging ahead gets me in trouble
31. Am I gonna make it to 89?
32. I love Star Trek Jokes
33. Am I too unique?
34. Do I love being different?
35. Hanging By a Moment
36. It's getting late
37. I'd just as soon kiss a wookiee
38. I can arrange that
39. Not a Day Goes By
40. The Lake
41. Gone to Carolina
42. Law school?
43. Is a Rhodes Scholarship out of the realm of possibility?
44. MSN is strange
45. I'm glad I had that conversation
46. That conversation made me feel terrible
47. Why can't things be simple?
48. Is chivalry dead?
49. How come Daniel Craig never gets in awkward situations?
50. "I wanna Log Into You"
51. I love the Arrogant Worms
52. "But you do, right?'
53. "I dont know. How do you know?"
54. "I just think you know"
55. "Yeah. I do"
56. "Don't tell me what I can't do!"
57. How much will I give up for a job?
58. "Love over Gold, Mind over Matter"
59. Mark Knopfler is the man
60. Golden Heart is #3
61. How much do i value the friendship of Dave, Aaron and co?
62. Call on Me is sweet
63. Live Together, Die Alone
64. 100 hours a week?
65. What is really important?
66. What if I get a shitty job and sacrifice everything else for it
67. Can I do well enough on the LSAT's?
68. How well is well enough?
69. "Never would admit to flying blind"
70. Please let this work
71. How can I make a difference?
72. Stephen Harper is cool
73. If Bob Rae become PM, I'm leaving the country
74. Does admitting my mistakes help?
75. Do I just look like a bigger idiot
76. I wish she's given me a hug today
77. DB is a tool.
78. "I'll see you in my dreams"
79. "I know"
80. I love to run
81. I've been forged into who I am
82. Why?
83. How many chances do I have left?
84. Tahitian Skies
85. Women are like Klingons
86. CI's?
87. How am I going to decide about next summer?
88. "Who are you really, and what were you before?"
89. Dice- Finley Quaye and William Orbit #12 All-Time. The newest addition to the top 25.
I was crying, over you
I am smiling, I think of you
Where your gardens have no walls
Breathe in the air, if you care
You compare, don't say farewell
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear
Your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear
Your love's for me
I was crying, over you
I am smiling, I think of you
Misty mornings and waterfalls
Breathe in the air, if you care
You compare, don't say farewell
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear
Your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear
Your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear
Your love's for me
Virtuous sensibility
Escape velocity
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear
Your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear
Your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear
Your love's for me
Breathe in the air, if you care
Don't say farewell
Nothing...
1. This post will end with song lyrics
2. Life is crazy
3. I have a terrible finals schedule
4. I dont know what to do with my life
5. It's been too long
6. I want to go to Mexico
7. Damn I've been screwing things up
8. 89...pretty darn good
10. Awkwardness
11. If this doesn't work, I'm gonna be very mad with myself
12. Is I-banking too intense for me?
13. Do I really love Finance?
14. Would leaving it all behind for NZ really be that bad?
15. Can I write a post soon called "Beyond My Wildest Dreams"?
16. How hard is CMI actually going to be?
17. How hard could it possibly be to get a 79 on Fin 2?
18. Am I in good enough shapeto run 1:21?
19. Will I be by February?
20. Do I want to go to Law School?
21. Is elegance outmoded?
22. Why is it this time?
23. I like Sushi
24. I thought this was low-key
25. What the hell are dishes anyways?
26. Confidence and Success are far too correlated
27. I like straighforwardness
28. Straightforwardness gets me in trouble
29. Strangely, I dislike barging ahead
30. Equally strangely, not barging ahead gets me in trouble
31. Am I gonna make it to 89?
32. I love Star Trek Jokes
33. Am I too unique?
34. Do I love being different?
35. Hanging By a Moment
36. It's getting late
37. I'd just as soon kiss a wookiee
38. I can arrange that
39. Not a Day Goes By
40. The Lake
41. Gone to Carolina
42. Law school?
43. Is a Rhodes Scholarship out of the realm of possibility?
44. MSN is strange
45. I'm glad I had that conversation
46. That conversation made me feel terrible
47. Why can't things be simple?
48. Is chivalry dead?
49. How come Daniel Craig never gets in awkward situations?
50. "I wanna Log Into You"
51. I love the Arrogant Worms
52. "But you do, right?'
53. "I dont know. How do you know?"
54. "I just think you know"
55. "Yeah. I do"
56. "Don't tell me what I can't do!"
57. How much will I give up for a job?
58. "Love over Gold, Mind over Matter"
59. Mark Knopfler is the man
60. Golden Heart is #3
61. How much do i value the friendship of Dave, Aaron and co?
62. Call on Me is sweet
63. Live Together, Die Alone
64. 100 hours a week?
65. What is really important?
66. What if I get a shitty job and sacrifice everything else for it
67. Can I do well enough on the LSAT's?
68. How well is well enough?
69. "Never would admit to flying blind"
70. Please let this work
71. How can I make a difference?
72. Stephen Harper is cool
73. If Bob Rae become PM, I'm leaving the country
74. Does admitting my mistakes help?
75. Do I just look like a bigger idiot
76. I wish she's given me a hug today
77. DB is a tool.
78. "I'll see you in my dreams"
79. "I know"
80. I love to run
81. I've been forged into who I am
82. Why?
83. How many chances do I have left?
84. Tahitian Skies
85. Women are like Klingons
86. CI's?
87. How am I going to decide about next summer?
88. "Who are you really, and what were you before?"
89. Dice- Finley Quaye and William Orbit #12 All-Time. The newest addition to the top 25.
I was crying, over you
I am smiling, I think of you
Where your gardens have no walls
Breathe in the air, if you care
You compare, don't say farewell
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear
Your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear
Your love's for me
I was crying, over you
I am smiling, I think of you
Misty mornings and waterfalls
Breathe in the air, if you care
You compare, don't say farewell
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear
Your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear
Your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear
Your love's for me
Virtuous sensibility
Escape velocity
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear
Your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear
Your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and swear
Your love's for me
Breathe in the air, if you care
Don't say farewell
Nothing...
Saturday, November 18, 2006
How James Became Bond
Fantastic Birthday. Once tax was over the day was pretty much non-stop awesomeness. Everything went right. The afternoon was fantastic, the Keg was reliably great, and Casino Royale was everything I expected. Phenomenal movie, I think it will end up being my second favorite Bond movie, after GoldenEye. I have to rewatch some of the old ones before I can definitively say that though. Anyway, now that I have a few hours to chill before the T&F potluck and the joint birthday event, I can start on this post that I've been meaning to write for a while now.
The most fascinating thing about Casino Royale was understanding how someone could become James Bond. Most interesting film and literary characters are quite one-dimensional, they have a single event that defines them, makes them who they are. This is a convinient literary tool because of its simplicity, but is fairly unrealistic. There are a few characters though, who are slowly forged into their final persona, through a long series of events and choices. "It's our choices that make us who we are, far more than our abilities." These are the characters that one can learn from. Unfortunately, they are quite rare, due to the fact it usually takes many seperate incarnations of the character at different stages of his life in order to illustrate the character's progression. Off the top of my head, in addition to Bond, the characters that fall under this category include Harry Potter (but we don't know where his journey is taking him yet), Anakin Skywalker (but his transition left a little to be desired), and the Lost characters (especially Jack and Eko). It isn't a long list. It is, however, a useful list. Even though I have little in common with any of those characters, it is still an instructive exercise to look at the areas in which there are similarities, and the areas where there are opposite parallels. Additionally, there are common threads that run through all these journeys and they can be constructive to look at as well.
Examining this is one small part of me trying to figure out a coherent strategy for planning my own journey. My journey is still in the early stages, but the next couple of years are going to be critical in defining my path. In an attempt to light my way with regard to next summer and the following year, I have undertaken a number of fact-finding activities. I have gathered information, laid out my options and have tried to talk to as many people as I can about the options that are available to me. Using this information, I have begun to think about which options best reflect who I am and who I want to be. I have added to this the more minor contributing factors, like my short term goals, the effect my decisions would have on others and their consequent opinions, thought experiments like this one, and many other things. It is my hope that when all this is analysed as a whole, I will know what decision I should make.
At the start of Casino Royale, 007 isn't that unique. All the ingredients are there, but he has yet to make himself into something more. He's not any different than a Jason Bourne, a Jack Ryan, a spy that is capable but not yet distinguished. The things that make him into 007, the vodka martinis, the gadgets, the dry wit, and the persistient belief that commitment is both dangerous and painful have yet to surface. But as we see in Casino Royale, Bond is this way for a reason.
Although Bond is essentially ageless, the way I see the movies is a progression of the character. Despite the different time frames that the movies are made, I personally see a very clear evolution of James into Bond. Obviously, Casino Royale is intended to be the first Bond movie chronologically. Craig's Bond has all the technical skills needed to take on the world's best, in terms of martial skill, poker/baccarat ability and sexual prowess. However, he but is still figuring out how to define himself. (I too, am still defining myself, so I think I can learn the most from Craig's 007) By the end of Casino Royale, he is beginning to understand where his great strength lies, and is adjusting himself accordingly.
The way I see the evolution of Bond is the following. Craig's rookie Bond is cocky, and hasn't yet learned to control his ego and use it to his advantage. He understands humour, and finds pleasure in wit, but it is not the staple of his personality that it will become. He has a hard edge, the toughest incarnation of Bond, and he is more ruthless in his younger days.He has yet to develop a cynicism about the world and his job, although he understands that what he does is morally grey. Perhaps most importantly though, he is willing to love. He already has a thourough understanding of women, but he lacks the armour that characterizes most of the later Bonds. However, with Vesper's betrayal, Bond is shattered, and becomes a man bent on revenge, letting his emotions guide the use of his considerable power. Where he goes from here is not known yet, but future Craig films will undoubtedly reveal that.
Fast forward a few years and you find Bond had changed a little. The second evolution of Bond is Bond as portrayed by Timothy Dalton. Aside from a single line in Licence to Kill, which implies that it takes place after On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Dalton is the next logical portrayal of the character. He is what I imagine Bond becomeing after he has hunted down Vesper's killer and taken his revenge. He retains the hard-edge and ruthlessness of Craig, but has become more polished. He knows how to carry himself now, and after his early trials and his quest for revenge he has learned how to keep his ego in check. He is still a fighter though, perhaps the most balanced of all the incarnations of Bond, half suave secret-agent and ladykiller, and half arrogant, and sometimes cruel, assassin. With regards to women, he has learned to use his considerable charm to his advantage, but there is something inside him that isn't dead yet. You can clearly see his armour, set up to block anyone from doing to him what Vesper had done. But you can also see his pain, you can see that there is still a man beneath the armour. When another 00 agent is killed in front of him, he loses his composure for a few seconds, and all the rage and conflict within him are are clear as they are when Craig plays Bond.
After some time in that transitional stage, he reaches the a more mature stage, the stage where he becomes a legend. This is Connery's Bond, where the man inside is well hidden, where Bond has finally learned to use wit, humour and casual self-assurance to augment his emotional armour. He had softened a bit as the memory of Vesper's loss eases a little with time. He does not feel the need to inflict punishment on himself when he can accomplish his goal in another way. He has mastered the arts of wit and seduction, but seems to open up just a little as he ages. Throughout the Connery films, there exists the sense that Bond may one day find a woman he can let in. His considerable armour is there, and serves its purpose well, but there is a feeling of possibility that one of these women might win Bond's heart.
Eventually, one does. In George Lazenby's only outing as Bond, he lets a woman into his heart again. He initially agrees to marry her as a means to an end, but after spending considerable time with her his armour cracks and he lets her in. I guess by this time he is lonely enough, and far removed enough from Vesper, that he is willing to take another chance. But as Bond once said, you only live twice. Bond's arch-nemesis, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, kills Tracy shortly after they are married. Bond's armour goes back on, this time for good. There is no question in Bond's mind now, there is no room for love in his line of work.
The new Bond, the Bond that knows he will never have a happy ending, begins to look at himself in a different way. He realizes that the life he has chosen for himself involves sacrifices, and accepts that fact. Bond embraces who he is, who he has become, and what vestiges remained of James are swept away. He is 007, more a number and a legend than a man, "The ultimate gentleman spy, irresistable to women, deadly to his enemies," and nothing else. The armour will never come off again. This is Brosnan's Bond, master of the double entendre, committed to having as much fun as possible while saving the world. His ego has transformed into something extrodinary, an unshakeble self-assurance and belief that 007 is invincible and will always win. GoldenEye is the only Brosnan movie where I actually thought at anytime during the movie that 007 had met his match, and that was only because he was facing an adversary with the same 00 finesse, the same aura of invincibility.
At the same time, it is a little sad to see the human side of Bond slip away. Two scenes in GoldenEye drove this home to me, made be feel a bit sorry that saving the world has robbed Bond of his humanity. First, when Natalya asks him, "How can you be like this? How can you be so cold?" Bond looks her straight in the eye and says, "It's what keeps me alive." Later in the movie, Trevelyan tries to break through Bond's armour, take a stab at Bond's soul and remind him of Vesper and Tracy. He says "I might as well ask you if all those vodka martinis drown out the screams of the men you've killed, or if you find forgiveness in the arms of all those willing women for the dead ones you failed to protect." Bond just gives him a raised eyebrow. Nothing more.
Bond's journey should probably end here, but it doesn't. There are several more Bond films, starring Roger Moore, that depict Bond in what I see as his elder years. Moore's Bond seems to think saving the world is a bit funny, he's done it so many times it really isn't that hard anymore. It's as if he could save the world on a whim. This deeply cynical attitude is perhaps a natural result of all Bond's previous adventures, but in a lot of ways it is a bit sad. Bond has already lost his soul, his chance at happiness, and now he isn't even as cool as Brosnan's Bond anymore. The movies are entertaining, but more entertaining in a comedic, Schwarzenegger sort of way. He's still got the skills with the ladies though. Those never go away.
So that's my analysis. What can I learn from Bond's journey? I'm not sure yet. But maybe there will be another post on that topic sometime. One thing though, is for sure. James Bond is the very definition of cool, but Daniel Craig has shown us that that cool came at a heavy price. And he showed us in a way that was both brilliant, exciting, and yes, pretty darn romantic. I didn't know Bond had that shower scene in him. Kudos to you, James.
The most fascinating thing about Casino Royale was understanding how someone could become James Bond. Most interesting film and literary characters are quite one-dimensional, they have a single event that defines them, makes them who they are. This is a convinient literary tool because of its simplicity, but is fairly unrealistic. There are a few characters though, who are slowly forged into their final persona, through a long series of events and choices. "It's our choices that make us who we are, far more than our abilities." These are the characters that one can learn from. Unfortunately, they are quite rare, due to the fact it usually takes many seperate incarnations of the character at different stages of his life in order to illustrate the character's progression. Off the top of my head, in addition to Bond, the characters that fall under this category include Harry Potter (but we don't know where his journey is taking him yet), Anakin Skywalker (but his transition left a little to be desired), and the Lost characters (especially Jack and Eko). It isn't a long list. It is, however, a useful list. Even though I have little in common with any of those characters, it is still an instructive exercise to look at the areas in which there are similarities, and the areas where there are opposite parallels. Additionally, there are common threads that run through all these journeys and they can be constructive to look at as well.
Examining this is one small part of me trying to figure out a coherent strategy for planning my own journey. My journey is still in the early stages, but the next couple of years are going to be critical in defining my path. In an attempt to light my way with regard to next summer and the following year, I have undertaken a number of fact-finding activities. I have gathered information, laid out my options and have tried to talk to as many people as I can about the options that are available to me. Using this information, I have begun to think about which options best reflect who I am and who I want to be. I have added to this the more minor contributing factors, like my short term goals, the effect my decisions would have on others and their consequent opinions, thought experiments like this one, and many other things. It is my hope that when all this is analysed as a whole, I will know what decision I should make.
At the start of Casino Royale, 007 isn't that unique. All the ingredients are there, but he has yet to make himself into something more. He's not any different than a Jason Bourne, a Jack Ryan, a spy that is capable but not yet distinguished. The things that make him into 007, the vodka martinis, the gadgets, the dry wit, and the persistient belief that commitment is both dangerous and painful have yet to surface. But as we see in Casino Royale, Bond is this way for a reason.
Although Bond is essentially ageless, the way I see the movies is a progression of the character. Despite the different time frames that the movies are made, I personally see a very clear evolution of James into Bond. Obviously, Casino Royale is intended to be the first Bond movie chronologically. Craig's Bond has all the technical skills needed to take on the world's best, in terms of martial skill, poker/baccarat ability and sexual prowess. However, he but is still figuring out how to define himself. (I too, am still defining myself, so I think I can learn the most from Craig's 007) By the end of Casino Royale, he is beginning to understand where his great strength lies, and is adjusting himself accordingly.
The way I see the evolution of Bond is the following. Craig's rookie Bond is cocky, and hasn't yet learned to control his ego and use it to his advantage. He understands humour, and finds pleasure in wit, but it is not the staple of his personality that it will become. He has a hard edge, the toughest incarnation of Bond, and he is more ruthless in his younger days.He has yet to develop a cynicism about the world and his job, although he understands that what he does is morally grey. Perhaps most importantly though, he is willing to love. He already has a thourough understanding of women, but he lacks the armour that characterizes most of the later Bonds. However, with Vesper's betrayal, Bond is shattered, and becomes a man bent on revenge, letting his emotions guide the use of his considerable power. Where he goes from here is not known yet, but future Craig films will undoubtedly reveal that.
Fast forward a few years and you find Bond had changed a little. The second evolution of Bond is Bond as portrayed by Timothy Dalton. Aside from a single line in Licence to Kill, which implies that it takes place after On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Dalton is the next logical portrayal of the character. He is what I imagine Bond becomeing after he has hunted down Vesper's killer and taken his revenge. He retains the hard-edge and ruthlessness of Craig, but has become more polished. He knows how to carry himself now, and after his early trials and his quest for revenge he has learned how to keep his ego in check. He is still a fighter though, perhaps the most balanced of all the incarnations of Bond, half suave secret-agent and ladykiller, and half arrogant, and sometimes cruel, assassin. With regards to women, he has learned to use his considerable charm to his advantage, but there is something inside him that isn't dead yet. You can clearly see his armour, set up to block anyone from doing to him what Vesper had done. But you can also see his pain, you can see that there is still a man beneath the armour. When another 00 agent is killed in front of him, he loses his composure for a few seconds, and all the rage and conflict within him are are clear as they are when Craig plays Bond.
After some time in that transitional stage, he reaches the a more mature stage, the stage where he becomes a legend. This is Connery's Bond, where the man inside is well hidden, where Bond has finally learned to use wit, humour and casual self-assurance to augment his emotional armour. He had softened a bit as the memory of Vesper's loss eases a little with time. He does not feel the need to inflict punishment on himself when he can accomplish his goal in another way. He has mastered the arts of wit and seduction, but seems to open up just a little as he ages. Throughout the Connery films, there exists the sense that Bond may one day find a woman he can let in. His considerable armour is there, and serves its purpose well, but there is a feeling of possibility that one of these women might win Bond's heart.
Eventually, one does. In George Lazenby's only outing as Bond, he lets a woman into his heart again. He initially agrees to marry her as a means to an end, but after spending considerable time with her his armour cracks and he lets her in. I guess by this time he is lonely enough, and far removed enough from Vesper, that he is willing to take another chance. But as Bond once said, you only live twice. Bond's arch-nemesis, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, kills Tracy shortly after they are married. Bond's armour goes back on, this time for good. There is no question in Bond's mind now, there is no room for love in his line of work.
The new Bond, the Bond that knows he will never have a happy ending, begins to look at himself in a different way. He realizes that the life he has chosen for himself involves sacrifices, and accepts that fact. Bond embraces who he is, who he has become, and what vestiges remained of James are swept away. He is 007, more a number and a legend than a man, "The ultimate gentleman spy, irresistable to women, deadly to his enemies," and nothing else. The armour will never come off again. This is Brosnan's Bond, master of the double entendre, committed to having as much fun as possible while saving the world. His ego has transformed into something extrodinary, an unshakeble self-assurance and belief that 007 is invincible and will always win. GoldenEye is the only Brosnan movie where I actually thought at anytime during the movie that 007 had met his match, and that was only because he was facing an adversary with the same 00 finesse, the same aura of invincibility.
At the same time, it is a little sad to see the human side of Bond slip away. Two scenes in GoldenEye drove this home to me, made be feel a bit sorry that saving the world has robbed Bond of his humanity. First, when Natalya asks him, "How can you be like this? How can you be so cold?" Bond looks her straight in the eye and says, "It's what keeps me alive." Later in the movie, Trevelyan tries to break through Bond's armour, take a stab at Bond's soul and remind him of Vesper and Tracy. He says "I might as well ask you if all those vodka martinis drown out the screams of the men you've killed, or if you find forgiveness in the arms of all those willing women for the dead ones you failed to protect." Bond just gives him a raised eyebrow. Nothing more.
Bond's journey should probably end here, but it doesn't. There are several more Bond films, starring Roger Moore, that depict Bond in what I see as his elder years. Moore's Bond seems to think saving the world is a bit funny, he's done it so many times it really isn't that hard anymore. It's as if he could save the world on a whim. This deeply cynical attitude is perhaps a natural result of all Bond's previous adventures, but in a lot of ways it is a bit sad. Bond has already lost his soul, his chance at happiness, and now he isn't even as cool as Brosnan's Bond anymore. The movies are entertaining, but more entertaining in a comedic, Schwarzenegger sort of way. He's still got the skills with the ladies though. Those never go away.
So that's my analysis. What can I learn from Bond's journey? I'm not sure yet. But maybe there will be another post on that topic sometime. One thing though, is for sure. James Bond is the very definition of cool, but Daniel Craig has shown us that that cool came at a heavy price. And he showed us in a way that was both brilliant, exciting, and yes, pretty darn romantic. I didn't know Bond had that shower scene in him. Kudos to you, James.
Monday, November 13, 2006
The Whole Truth
Wow. Crazy. I was having a mediocre day yesterday, mostly involving tax studying and watching the Riders get hammered, but there was reason to be hopeful for the evening. Given everything that happened, that hope should have turned into a disaster, but remarkably, it didn't. It still worked out, despite the fact that basically everything that could possibly go wrong, went wrong. So here's the list.
1. My attempt to provide a reason for acting, when there was really no need for a reason turned into me looking like I was about 16 and had no idea what I was doing
2. The beauty of Linux and the Internet
3. My unfortunate track-hack
4. The fact that someone did a poor job of the dishes
5. Paper-thin walls
6. The Kitchen
7. Fingernails, the bane of my existence
8. An unlikely coincidence and a classic problem
9. Ronnie Hawkins
10.Kleenex
I can't believe it. 10 things wrong (Plus the Riders, 11), one thing very right.
1. My attempt to provide a reason for acting, when there was really no need for a reason turned into me looking like I was about 16 and had no idea what I was doing
2. The beauty of Linux and the Internet
3. My unfortunate track-hack
4. The fact that someone did a poor job of the dishes
5. Paper-thin walls
6. The Kitchen
7. Fingernails, the bane of my existence
8. An unlikely coincidence and a classic problem
9. Ronnie Hawkins
10.Kleenex
I can't believe it. 10 things wrong (Plus the Riders, 11), one thing very right.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Sailing to Philadelphia
This post is gonna be a list of places I've been and places I want to go during my lifetime. I've been considering where I could get to in the next few years if I plan things right, and thought I should figure out all the places I want to go. Nothing will ever beat Alberta and Saskatchewan, but I think some of these places would be awesome! I havent included anywhere in Canada on these lists..I've been to every province except Newfoundland, but there are still some domestic destinations that would be neat.
Places I've Been (The ones that would be on this list if I hadn't already been there)
Los Angeles, California
Orlando, Florida
Honolulu, Hawaii
Cancun, Mexico
Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
Sydney, Australia
Perth, Australia
London, England
Tijuana, Mexico
San Diego, California
Eugene, Oregon
Alaska
Suva, Fiji
Places I Want To Go (That I haven't been yet)
New York, New York
Washington, DC
Belize
Cuzco, Peru
Rapa Nui, Chile
Buenos Aires, Argentina
Rio de Janiero, Brazil
Tahiti, French Polynesia
Maui, Hawaii
New Zealand
Tasmania, Australia
Singapore
Hong Kong, China
Beijing, China
Taipei, Taiwan
Tokyo, Japan
Mecca, Saudi Arabia
Dubai, United Arab Emirates
Jerusalem, Israel
Agra, India
Giza, Egypt
Mauritius
Madagascar
South Africa
Kenya
Moscow, Russia
Oslo, Norway
Berlin, Germany
Athens, Greece
Istanbul, Turkey
Prague, Czech Republic
Munich, Germany
Vienna, Austria
Rome, Italy
Venice, Italy
Litchenstein
Switzerland
Monaco
Paris/Versailles, France
Amsterdam, Netherlands
Madrid, Spain
Barcelona, Spain
Lisbon, Portugal
Edinburgh, Scotland
Cardiff, Wales
Dublin, Ireland
Reykjavik, Iceland
Azores, Portugal
Casablanca, Morocco
Brussels, Belgium
Antartica
Jamaica
And probably more that I can't think of. I best get to it, the list is long! Onward!
Places I've Been (The ones that would be on this list if I hadn't already been there)
Los Angeles, California
Orlando, Florida
Honolulu, Hawaii
Cancun, Mexico
Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
Sydney, Australia
Perth, Australia
London, England
Tijuana, Mexico
San Diego, California
Eugene, Oregon
Alaska
Suva, Fiji
Places I Want To Go (That I haven't been yet)
New York, New York
Washington, DC
Belize
Cuzco, Peru
Rapa Nui, Chile
Buenos Aires, Argentina
Rio de Janiero, Brazil
Tahiti, French Polynesia
Maui, Hawaii
New Zealand
Tasmania, Australia
Singapore
Hong Kong, China
Beijing, China
Taipei, Taiwan
Tokyo, Japan
Mecca, Saudi Arabia
Dubai, United Arab Emirates
Jerusalem, Israel
Agra, India
Giza, Egypt
Mauritius
Madagascar
South Africa
Kenya
Moscow, Russia
Oslo, Norway
Berlin, Germany
Athens, Greece
Istanbul, Turkey
Prague, Czech Republic
Munich, Germany
Vienna, Austria
Rome, Italy
Venice, Italy
Litchenstein
Switzerland
Monaco
Paris/Versailles, France
Amsterdam, Netherlands
Madrid, Spain
Barcelona, Spain
Lisbon, Portugal
Edinburgh, Scotland
Cardiff, Wales
Dublin, Ireland
Reykjavik, Iceland
Azores, Portugal
Casablanca, Morocco
Brussels, Belgium
Antartica
Jamaica
And probably more that I can't think of. I best get to it, the list is long! Onward!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
X for II
It's been two years since I first sat down at this computer and decided to start a blog. I had seen Vincci's and thought that it might be an easier alternative to the various journals and diaries that I had written over the years. It was certainly more university-like, or at least I thought so at the time. Over those two years, I have changed, and the blog has changed. At first I was not entirely sure what I wanted to write here, and the posts, modelled after Vincci's, were mostly recounts of mundane events, with a little bit of extra analysis thrown in. As I became more comfortable with the blogging environment, I began to write posts that were more like what i had previously written in journals. They were personal, convoluted and mostly about girls. Over time, this blog changed again, into what I believe it to be now.
It all started back in Philosophy 200, where I started seeing connections between different essays that i had been writing. I saw that my theories on Philosophy connected with my political and moral beliefs as well. I wondered to myself if someday I could write a book, a treatise if you like, that included all my opinions and views, forged into a coherent whole, an expression of my worldview. I told myself at the time that I would only have the opportunity to do something like that if I ended up being famous and had a chance to write memoirs. However, as second year progressed, I realized, that with no history, polisci or philosophy courses, I no longer had a forum to present my ideas. That bothered me, and I started looking for a solution.
I also noticed around the same time that the entries in this blog were starting to be a little bit redundant. They were personal, vague and more than a little melodramatic. That's all well and good if only I am going to be reading them, but I realized that this blog has a dual purpose. As well as being a place for my personal reflection, it is a way for me to speak to an audience, even if it's a small one, and that I should structure my posts in such a way that they do not lose their internal value but are more interesting for an outside audience to read.
After a while, I realized that all these issues could be resolved through this blog. It could become my treatise, my Empire of Ideas (the title I concieved for my hypothetical book in Phil 200). That is what I hope to make it in the long run, a complete, or at least extensive, collection on my morals, beliefs, experiences(still room for melodrama), theories, political views and my goals. That would allow it to achieve its dual purpose, being a "frontier" for personal development and also being (hopefully) engaging and interesting to read for an outside audience. As always, I welcome ideas on this topic. I would like to end, as I often do, with a list. This one is of the ten posts that I consider to be my best. They are the the most illuminating, the best written, the most creative, the ones that answered the most questions, and most of all, the ones I am most proud of writing over the last two years.
I. Assumptions [9/05]
II. The Altar of Freedom [8/06]
III. A Star Wars Kinda Mood [3/05]
IV. A Kingdom of Conscience [10/05]
V. Man of Science, Man of Faith [1/06]
VI. A More Civilized Age [7/06]
VII. Golden Heart [8/06]
VIII. Interesting People A-Z [10/04]
IX. Speechless [3/05]
X. Playing In The Big Leagues [4/05]
It all started back in Philosophy 200, where I started seeing connections between different essays that i had been writing. I saw that my theories on Philosophy connected with my political and moral beliefs as well. I wondered to myself if someday I could write a book, a treatise if you like, that included all my opinions and views, forged into a coherent whole, an expression of my worldview. I told myself at the time that I would only have the opportunity to do something like that if I ended up being famous and had a chance to write memoirs. However, as second year progressed, I realized, that with no history, polisci or philosophy courses, I no longer had a forum to present my ideas. That bothered me, and I started looking for a solution.
I also noticed around the same time that the entries in this blog were starting to be a little bit redundant. They were personal, vague and more than a little melodramatic. That's all well and good if only I am going to be reading them, but I realized that this blog has a dual purpose. As well as being a place for my personal reflection, it is a way for me to speak to an audience, even if it's a small one, and that I should structure my posts in such a way that they do not lose their internal value but are more interesting for an outside audience to read.
After a while, I realized that all these issues could be resolved through this blog. It could become my treatise, my Empire of Ideas (the title I concieved for my hypothetical book in Phil 200). That is what I hope to make it in the long run, a complete, or at least extensive, collection on my morals, beliefs, experiences(still room for melodrama), theories, political views and my goals. That would allow it to achieve its dual purpose, being a "frontier" for personal development and also being (hopefully) engaging and interesting to read for an outside audience. As always, I welcome ideas on this topic. I would like to end, as I often do, with a list. This one is of the ten posts that I consider to be my best. They are the the most illuminating, the best written, the most creative, the ones that answered the most questions, and most of all, the ones I am most proud of writing over the last two years.
I. Assumptions [9/05]
II. The Altar of Freedom [8/06]
III. A Star Wars Kinda Mood [3/05]
IV. A Kingdom of Conscience [10/05]
V. Man of Science, Man of Faith [1/06]
VI. A More Civilized Age [7/06]
VII. Golden Heart [8/06]
VIII. Interesting People A-Z [10/04]
IX. Speechless [3/05]
X. Playing In The Big Leagues [4/05]
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Phantasms
I realized the other day, with a little help from a friend, something interesting about myself. She asked me what was the thing I had done that I most regretted. I had no answer for her. I have never done anything that I regret to the extent that it still haunts me. She also asked whether I regretted having NOT done something. That list isn't as empty. It isn't long but there are are a few entries. My friend suggested that this perhaps indicated that I need to take some more chances. It isn't that I want to regret things that I've done, but I think that list should be the same length as things you regret not doing. If you can have two empty lists, so much the better, but I think that is a rare thing. I started thinking about it, and came to a brick wall. I don't want to do anything that is obviously going to turn out badly, that would just be stupid. There is no point in doing something you know you will regret for that reason alone. I am having trouble trying to think of things that are a little less..cautious..than my usual activities but still harbour a good opportunity for payoff. I'm a finance student, I have to look for things where the risk is proportional to the return. So far I haven't thought of much. I've asked a few people over the last few days, and the jist of their answers has been, "You'll know when you come to it." I thought that was an interesting response, but I think it is only partially true. Some of my "phantasms" that never were didn't materialize even though I realized the alternative existed. I made a clear choice not to do something and now, I wish I had taken the other path. Others, however, wern't a concious choice at the time. I didn't take the risk because I didn't realize that the opportunity was there, or I didn't realize that I could have chosen to do things differently. Frosh Week is a good example. I knew nothing about it going in, and although it was fun, I feel like I missed out on part of the Frosh experience. If I could have my Frosh week over again, I would have done things a bit differently. So, it seems that I need to, in addition to considering more closely some alternative courses of action, become better at identifying situations where there might be a choice with a higher risk profile, but with correspondingly higher returns. I have constructed a short list of actions that I might have an opportunity to try out some of these theories on, but as I said earlier, most of them at this point are superficial. I am also planning to give some thought to those situations where I didn't realize there was a choice and why I failed to see it at the time. Much of it has to do with imcomplete information, but I think more analysis is required. I want to end with some song lyrics, because I don't know where else to put them. This song is one of my all-time favorites, and I've been listening to it alot lately. It is number 8 on my all-time list, but like others in the top 10, notably Timeless Love, it reached the top ten for one reason and later became relevant to me in other ways as well, redefining itself while retaining everything that made it great in the first place. It presented a bit of a problem though, because I usually like to title posts including song lyrics with the title of the song. Alas, I already have a post called The Fire Inside. So it gets stuck in here, as it has provided me lots of musical enjoyment and food for thought while I've been pondering life recently, and exploring the issues in this post.
There's a hard moon rising on the streets tonight
There's a reckless feeling in your heart as you head out tonight
Through the concrete canyons to the midtown lights
Where the latest neon promises are burning bright
Past the open windows on the darkened streets
Where unseen angry voices flash and children cry
Past the phony posers with their worn out lines
The tired new money dressed to the nines
The low life dealers with their bad designs
And the dilettantes with their open minds
You're out on the town, safe in the crowd
Ready to go for the ride
Searching the eyes, looking for clues
Theres no way you can hide
The Fire Inside
Well you've been to the clubs and the discotheques
Where they deal one another from the bottom of a deck of promises
Where the cautious loners and emotional wrecks
Do an acting stretch as a way to hide the obvious
And the lights go down and they dance real close
And for one brief instant they pretend they're safe and warm
Then the beat gets louder and the mood is gone
The darkness scatters as the lights flash on
They hold one another just a little too long
And they move apart and then move on
On to the street, on to the next
Safe in the knowledge that they tried
Faking the smile, hiding the pain
Never satisfied
The Fire Inside
Fire Inside
Now the hour is late and he thinks you're asleep
You listen to him dress and you listen to him leave
Like you knew he would
You hear his car pull away in the street
Then you move to the door and you lock it when
He's gone for good
Then you walk to the window and stare at the moon
Riding high and lonesome through a starlit sky
And it comes to you how it all slips away
Youth and beauty are gone one day
No matter what you dream or feel or say
It ends in dust and disarray
Like wind on the plains, sand through the glass
Waves rolling in with the tide
Dreams die hard and we watch them erode
But we cannot be denied
The Fire Inside
(Awesome Piano Solo)
There's a hard moon rising on the streets tonight
There's a reckless feeling in your heart as you head out tonight
Through the concrete canyons to the midtown lights
Where the latest neon promises are burning bright
Past the open windows on the darkened streets
Where unseen angry voices flash and children cry
Past the phony posers with their worn out lines
The tired new money dressed to the nines
The low life dealers with their bad designs
And the dilettantes with their open minds
You're out on the town, safe in the crowd
Ready to go for the ride
Searching the eyes, looking for clues
Theres no way you can hide
The Fire Inside
Well you've been to the clubs and the discotheques
Where they deal one another from the bottom of a deck of promises
Where the cautious loners and emotional wrecks
Do an acting stretch as a way to hide the obvious
And the lights go down and they dance real close
And for one brief instant they pretend they're safe and warm
Then the beat gets louder and the mood is gone
The darkness scatters as the lights flash on
They hold one another just a little too long
And they move apart and then move on
On to the street, on to the next
Safe in the knowledge that they tried
Faking the smile, hiding the pain
Never satisfied
The Fire Inside
Fire Inside
Now the hour is late and he thinks you're asleep
You listen to him dress and you listen to him leave
Like you knew he would
You hear his car pull away in the street
Then you move to the door and you lock it when
He's gone for good
Then you walk to the window and stare at the moon
Riding high and lonesome through a starlit sky
And it comes to you how it all slips away
Youth and beauty are gone one day
No matter what you dream or feel or say
It ends in dust and disarray
Like wind on the plains, sand through the glass
Waves rolling in with the tide
Dreams die hard and we watch them erode
But we cannot be denied
The Fire Inside
(Awesome Piano Solo)
Monday, August 21, 2006
The Silver Screen
Movies are one of my favorite things. There is little better than sitting down in front of a terrific film with a good friend or two and some hot popcorn. Of all the movies I've seen, there have been a few that have stuck with me. Some of them have made me think and examine the way I look at the world. Some have inspired me and spurred me on toward a myriad of possible futures. Some have had that rare ability to reach inside and stir my soul. Some have shown me men of profound character, and have shown me what it is that makes a man virtuous. Finally, some have just been brilliantly entertaining diversions for times when I've just want to be whisked away from reality for a little while. Here is the list, with the rottentomatoes aggregate ratings in brackets, so you can all see how mainstream I am.
Blair’s 25 Favorite Movies
1. Chariots of Fire (92%)
2. The Empire Strikes Back (98%)
3. Casablanca (97%)
4. Star Wars (94%)
5. The Lion King (92%)
6. The Wrath of Khan (96%)
7. Without Limits (76%)
8. Gladiator (78%)
9. Lord of the Rings* (95%)
10. Return of the Jedi (80%)
11. The Matrix (88%)
12. The Silence of the Lambs (97%)
13. Prefontaine (73%)
14. The Emperor’s Club (51%)
15. Spaceballs (50%)
16. Kill Bill* (85%)
17. Goldeneye (83%)
18. Raiders of the Lost Ark (97%)
19. Air Force One (77%)
20. The Last Waltz (97%)
21. Dodgeball (69%)
22. Wedding Crashers (75%)
23. Good Night, and Good Luck (94%)
24. V for Vendetta (76%)
25. Generations (48%)
* These two were multiple films, but intended to be viewed as a whole, therefore I have included them as such
Honorable Mentions: Top Gun, The Notebook, Terminator 2, The Last Crusade, A Beautiful Mind, Desperado, Hearts in Atlantis, Hidalgo, Jurassic Park, Braveheart and Predator
Blair’s 25 Favorite Movies
1. Chariots of Fire (92%)
2. The Empire Strikes Back (98%)
3. Casablanca (97%)
4. Star Wars (94%)
5. The Lion King (92%)
6. The Wrath of Khan (96%)
7. Without Limits (76%)
8. Gladiator (78%)
9. Lord of the Rings* (95%)
10. Return of the Jedi (80%)
11. The Matrix (88%)
12. The Silence of the Lambs (97%)
13. Prefontaine (73%)
14. The Emperor’s Club (51%)
15. Spaceballs (50%)
16. Kill Bill* (85%)
17. Goldeneye (83%)
18. Raiders of the Lost Ark (97%)
19. Air Force One (77%)
20. The Last Waltz (97%)
21. Dodgeball (69%)
22. Wedding Crashers (75%)
23. Good Night, and Good Luck (94%)
24. V for Vendetta (76%)
25. Generations (48%)
* These two were multiple films, but intended to be viewed as a whole, therefore I have included them as such
Honorable Mentions: Top Gun, The Notebook, Terminator 2, The Last Crusade, A Beautiful Mind, Desperado, Hearts in Atlantis, Hidalgo, Jurassic Park, Braveheart and Predator
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Golden Heart
This song is absolutely amazing. In the space of three months, it has gone from being the unknown title track on my newest CD, to being one of my favorite songs from that album, to being one of those songs I get obsessed with and listen to 24/7, to grabbing a spot on my Top 25 of the 90's list, to making the jump onto my Top 25 all-time, to rising to #6 on that same list. It is by far the newest (to me) of the songs in my top 10, and after listening to it non-stop for three months it still grabs me, it still makes me want to sing along, it still conveys a feeling of tremendous passion and elegance and it still takes me away. To Carolina if you will.
I am strongly considering moving it up from #6, but to crack the top 5 it will have to contend with five songs I have loved since junior high, five songs which mean an awful lot to me.
1. Timeless Love, is, at least for now, untouchable at the top of my list. It is my favorite song by my favorite artist, and every time I listen to it (approaching 800 plays on my computer alone) I can still feel the tremendous emotion in the song, especially in the live version, where you can just hear Burton pouring everything he has into his voice and his piano. For a long time, I thought Timeless Love was about two people who loved each other, and yet by circumstance were torn apart. To me, they were apart, but still in love. Then one day I sent the file over to Jackie so she could listen to it. She remarked that the song was terribly sad. I had never seen it that way before. When I went to see Burton live, I found out that Jackie was right. I knew it the instant he started talking about the song. You could tell that he truly feels everything he sings about in those lyrics. He said, "I haven't played this song in a long time. We got it out especially for this tour." There was something in his voice just then, maybe I was imagining it, but it seemed to me just a hint of...anguish in his voice. I thought..maybe, just maybe it's the one I want to hear. He continued, "This song is about a girl in Winnipeg who broke my heart a long time ago." Then I knew. It was indeed my favorite song of all. Then Burton said, "Is she here tonight? Is she here? (Pause) I guess not." That was the bit that hit home. He sounded so hopeful, so excited when it occured to him that this girl, who had broken his heart forty years before, might have come to see him play. Anyway, I sang along as loud as I wanted, and that, singing along with Burton Cummings to Timeless Love, was one of those elusive moments of perfection. Since then Timeless Love has made more sense to me, and I have understood why it is my very favorite song. It is a testament to tremendous happiness and undying love even in the face of crushing despair. Despite everything, love prevails over darkness. That's why.
2. Carolina in my Mind is the ultimate escape song. It is #2 on my list because I think it is James Taylor's most beautiful song, masterfully crafted and sung and no matter where I am or what is going on, it takes me away to my Carolina. The song provides me tremedous clarity, bacause in times of stress or disappointment it reminds me of my perfect world, the world I imagine and strive toward. It reminds me of what I am working towards. The imagery in the song is stunning, I really can see the silver sunshine on dark winter nights. "Watch her watch the morning come, a silver tear appearing now.." gives me a crystal clear image of something I hope to see in the future. The song describes itself beautifully with the line, "Whisper something soft and kind.." That's what it does. It's a whisper reminding you what you consider most valuable.
3. My Own Way to Rock reaches #3 because it is very much a song that defines me. I remember reading the "500 Greatest Songs" article in Rolling Stone a while back, and noticing something in the way they described The Who's My Generation. The words they used were "The Who's immortal fuck-off to their elders". In the same way, My Own Way to Rock is my answer to people who think they know how to run my life better than I do. I welcome debate, criticism and suggestions, and honestly do take them into consideration, but at the end I will be the one to decide how I live my life. Some people won't like it but I don't care. If I want to write melodramatic garbage in this blog then I will. If I don't want to do something, then I won't. If I want to believe in something then I will. And as the song says, "I've got my own way to rock, I've got my own way to roll, and when you're walkin' that walk it's good for your soul". That's the main thing that got this song to #3, but there are some other contributing factors as well. Again, Burton outdoes himself in this song. The way he sings it, the drawn out syllables, the random piano stuff, the added sentences that don't make sense, it all speaks to someone who's having a lot of fun singing this song. Even the album version has the feel of a live version to it. That sheer passion never fails to produce a smile from me. Finally, the song includes perhaps my favorite piano solo in all of music (Its only challengers coming at the end of Bob Seger's The Fire Inside and from a couple other Burton songs). The skill is incredible, and when I saw it live and he drew it out (It's a tad short in the album version) it was simply amazing.
4. Something in the Way She Moves is at #4 because it was the first song I can remember that really meant something to me. I think I was about 10 years old, not even close to the age where girls became cool, and the James Taylor Greatest Hits CD was in the CD player of my dad's car. I remember listening to it and thinking, even then, that's the kind of girl I'm going to marry. The line, "It isn't what she's got to say, but how she thinks, the way she's been. To me the words are nice the way they sound.." was the line that stuck with me. Ironically, I didn't much like Carolina in My Mind at the time, I would always skip from this song, Track 1, to Fire and Rain, Track 3, and miss Carolina, Track 2. This song was my favorite James Taylor and my favorite love song for most of junior high, and I will always hold it in the highest regard.
5. Truly, Madly, Deeply is #5 because it is the purest love song I know. If you were to ask me what love is, I couldn't give you a better answer than Savage Garden does in this song. It is #1 on my Top 25 Love Songs, as it should be. I think that when I meet a girl who is accurately described by this song, that'll be the girl I want to marry. As long as she's cool with it. lol.
So, as you can see, Golden Heart has some work to do if it's going to crack the top 5. I think the key is that I couldn't yet tell you what it is exactly that I love about Golden Heart. I know some things, but I couldn't give you a definative answer as I have done with the current top 5. I think it will take more time to do that. Then maybe it will have a chance of getting somewhere between 2 and 5. It's a great song, but I can't see it having the strength to dislodge Timeless Love. I'll finish with the lyrics, as I usually do when the post title is a song title.
Golden Heart
She was swinging by the bangles in a main street store
A while before we met
The most dangerous angles that you ever saw
She spied her amulet
And she took a loop of leather for around her neck
And that was then the start
The most dangerous lady on her quarter deck
She found her Golden Heart
You found your Golden Heart
Then we swirled around each other, and the thread was spun
To some Arcadian band
I would stop it from swinging like a pendulum
Just to hold time in my hand
And you shot me with a cannonball of history
A long forgotten art
I'd be turning it over as our words ran free
I'd hold your Golden Heart
I'd hold your Golden Heart
Nothing in the world prepared me for your heart, your heart
Nothing in the world that I love more your heart, your heart
Your Golden Heart
And every time I'm thinking of you from a distant shore
And all the time I sleep
I will have a reminder that my baby wore
A part of you to keep
And I'll send you all my promises across the sea
And while we are apart
I will carry the wonder that you gave to me
I'll wear your Golden Heart
I'll wear your Golden Heart
Nothing in the world prepared me for your heart, your heart
Nothing in the world that I love more your heart, your heart
Your Golden Heart
I am strongly considering moving it up from #6, but to crack the top 5 it will have to contend with five songs I have loved since junior high, five songs which mean an awful lot to me.
1. Timeless Love, is, at least for now, untouchable at the top of my list. It is my favorite song by my favorite artist, and every time I listen to it (approaching 800 plays on my computer alone) I can still feel the tremendous emotion in the song, especially in the live version, where you can just hear Burton pouring everything he has into his voice and his piano. For a long time, I thought Timeless Love was about two people who loved each other, and yet by circumstance were torn apart. To me, they were apart, but still in love. Then one day I sent the file over to Jackie so she could listen to it. She remarked that the song was terribly sad. I had never seen it that way before. When I went to see Burton live, I found out that Jackie was right. I knew it the instant he started talking about the song. You could tell that he truly feels everything he sings about in those lyrics. He said, "I haven't played this song in a long time. We got it out especially for this tour." There was something in his voice just then, maybe I was imagining it, but it seemed to me just a hint of...anguish in his voice. I thought..maybe, just maybe it's the one I want to hear. He continued, "This song is about a girl in Winnipeg who broke my heart a long time ago." Then I knew. It was indeed my favorite song of all. Then Burton said, "Is she here tonight? Is she here? (Pause) I guess not." That was the bit that hit home. He sounded so hopeful, so excited when it occured to him that this girl, who had broken his heart forty years before, might have come to see him play. Anyway, I sang along as loud as I wanted, and that, singing along with Burton Cummings to Timeless Love, was one of those elusive moments of perfection. Since then Timeless Love has made more sense to me, and I have understood why it is my very favorite song. It is a testament to tremendous happiness and undying love even in the face of crushing despair. Despite everything, love prevails over darkness. That's why.
2. Carolina in my Mind is the ultimate escape song. It is #2 on my list because I think it is James Taylor's most beautiful song, masterfully crafted and sung and no matter where I am or what is going on, it takes me away to my Carolina. The song provides me tremedous clarity, bacause in times of stress or disappointment it reminds me of my perfect world, the world I imagine and strive toward. It reminds me of what I am working towards. The imagery in the song is stunning, I really can see the silver sunshine on dark winter nights. "Watch her watch the morning come, a silver tear appearing now.." gives me a crystal clear image of something I hope to see in the future. The song describes itself beautifully with the line, "Whisper something soft and kind.." That's what it does. It's a whisper reminding you what you consider most valuable.
3. My Own Way to Rock reaches #3 because it is very much a song that defines me. I remember reading the "500 Greatest Songs" article in Rolling Stone a while back, and noticing something in the way they described The Who's My Generation. The words they used were "The Who's immortal fuck-off to their elders". In the same way, My Own Way to Rock is my answer to people who think they know how to run my life better than I do. I welcome debate, criticism and suggestions, and honestly do take them into consideration, but at the end I will be the one to decide how I live my life. Some people won't like it but I don't care. If I want to write melodramatic garbage in this blog then I will. If I don't want to do something, then I won't. If I want to believe in something then I will. And as the song says, "I've got my own way to rock, I've got my own way to roll, and when you're walkin' that walk it's good for your soul". That's the main thing that got this song to #3, but there are some other contributing factors as well. Again, Burton outdoes himself in this song. The way he sings it, the drawn out syllables, the random piano stuff, the added sentences that don't make sense, it all speaks to someone who's having a lot of fun singing this song. Even the album version has the feel of a live version to it. That sheer passion never fails to produce a smile from me. Finally, the song includes perhaps my favorite piano solo in all of music (Its only challengers coming at the end of Bob Seger's The Fire Inside and from a couple other Burton songs). The skill is incredible, and when I saw it live and he drew it out (It's a tad short in the album version) it was simply amazing.
4. Something in the Way She Moves is at #4 because it was the first song I can remember that really meant something to me. I think I was about 10 years old, not even close to the age where girls became cool, and the James Taylor Greatest Hits CD was in the CD player of my dad's car. I remember listening to it and thinking, even then, that's the kind of girl I'm going to marry. The line, "It isn't what she's got to say, but how she thinks, the way she's been. To me the words are nice the way they sound.." was the line that stuck with me. Ironically, I didn't much like Carolina in My Mind at the time, I would always skip from this song, Track 1, to Fire and Rain, Track 3, and miss Carolina, Track 2. This song was my favorite James Taylor and my favorite love song for most of junior high, and I will always hold it in the highest regard.
5. Truly, Madly, Deeply is #5 because it is the purest love song I know. If you were to ask me what love is, I couldn't give you a better answer than Savage Garden does in this song. It is #1 on my Top 25 Love Songs, as it should be. I think that when I meet a girl who is accurately described by this song, that'll be the girl I want to marry. As long as she's cool with it. lol.
So, as you can see, Golden Heart has some work to do if it's going to crack the top 5. I think the key is that I couldn't yet tell you what it is exactly that I love about Golden Heart. I know some things, but I couldn't give you a definative answer as I have done with the current top 5. I think it will take more time to do that. Then maybe it will have a chance of getting somewhere between 2 and 5. It's a great song, but I can't see it having the strength to dislodge Timeless Love. I'll finish with the lyrics, as I usually do when the post title is a song title.
Golden Heart
She was swinging by the bangles in a main street store
A while before we met
The most dangerous angles that you ever saw
She spied her amulet
And she took a loop of leather for around her neck
And that was then the start
The most dangerous lady on her quarter deck
She found her Golden Heart
You found your Golden Heart
Then we swirled around each other, and the thread was spun
To some Arcadian band
I would stop it from swinging like a pendulum
Just to hold time in my hand
And you shot me with a cannonball of history
A long forgotten art
I'd be turning it over as our words ran free
I'd hold your Golden Heart
I'd hold your Golden Heart
Nothing in the world prepared me for your heart, your heart
Nothing in the world that I love more your heart, your heart
Your Golden Heart
And every time I'm thinking of you from a distant shore
And all the time I sleep
I will have a reminder that my baby wore
A part of you to keep
And I'll send you all my promises across the sea
And while we are apart
I will carry the wonder that you gave to me
I'll wear your Golden Heart
I'll wear your Golden Heart
Nothing in the world prepared me for your heart, your heart
Nothing in the world that I love more your heart, your heart
Your Golden Heart
Monday, August 14, 2006
Introspection
Having written my last three posts on very big issues, I felt like it was a good time to go back and write a more personal post. Personal post. That's a little bit of a paradox, isn't it? I am, and have been for the last several years, a very open person. The way I think demands that I rationalize my beliefs and actions. Consequently, I have no qualms about telling people almost anything they want to know. If I can rationalize something to myself I should be able to rationalize it to others, and therefore my life is pretty much an open book. I also realize that debate is perhaps the best way to refine your own beliefs, identify flaws in your reasoning, and to make yourself a better person. My great hope for the last three posts I have written is that someone will read them and challenge me on aspects of them. The ensuing debate would be tremendously valuable to me. However, recently I have been wondering whether I am a little too open. I have realized that anyone, even someone who doesn't know me, could carefully read my facebook profile and this blog, both of which are publicly and universally available, and they could really understand who I am. Not just superficially either, but the real Blair. A total stranger could get a sense of who I am at my core. I feel as if other people have this exterior persona, the thing that I see from my friends, the things they write on their facebook profiles, their interests and what they do, their personality etc. But almost all of them, and in my closer friends I see hints, have this carefully guarded "core self" that they rarely show to anyone. It contains their emotions and motivations, and what they truly believe. I don't think I have that. Actually that isn't true, I do have it, but the range of what it encompasses is very small, there are only a very few topics on which I would deflect questions and avoid discussions. My "core self" will never be shown to anyone except the woman I love. Therefore, I think I a missing a layer. I am missing the layer containing beliefs, thoughts and emotions which many people keep reasonably private, sharing perhaps only with a couple trusted family members or best friends. I know this middle layer exists, from conversations I have had with people. Trent has it, Lyndsey has it and Larissa had it. Those three are the best examples because in those cases I felt like I've seen a little bit of it, just the very tip of the iceberg before the vault slammed shut. In other cases too, I have been able to tell that the wall exists, even with people I know less well. I have seen it in many of my friends, but didn't realize what it was until I observed it crystal-clear in Hayleigh. I am not sure whether this wall is a "middle layer" as I have guessed, a section revealed to a very few but still distinct from people's deepest selves, or whether the deepest selves of others just encompass a much wider range and are perhaps a little more easily accessable than mine. The latter hypothesis is given credence by the examples of Amit and Vincci, both of whom I believe have an ethos more similar to mine. In both cases, however, I think what they keep hidden is more, if only slightly, than what I do. The question that comes out of this is this: Do I need to be a little more introspective and keep my inner motivations a little more secret? The reason I think this might be advantageous is that it keeps people guessing. There has to be effort in order to discover who I really am. It keeps others involved and you aren't as boring that way. You can seem more spontaneous, because people are less able to discern your motivations. It gives you a bit on an air of mystery, and gives others the feeling that if they want to be privy to your secrets they will have to earn it.It also protects you in some instances. Bassil said something to me about this once, and for all his faults, this was something that made me think a little bit. He was referring to a situation in which I got burned, and was pretty upset about it. So what did I do? I told the person who had hurt me exactly what I felt. Everything. I let her have it. Bassil was of the mind that I should not have told her, and that telling her conveyed an image of weakness and emotional fragility which in turn caused me long-run problems. Although I don't agree entirely with him on this, he does raise a few good points. I will have to think more about this topic, but I feel like I may try to be a little more introspective in the next little while and see if I like the results.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
The Silent Visage
Monday night was a great conversation, as previously mentioned. It's been a while since I had a good long conversation, where anything goes. I had forgotten the simple joys of uninhibited discourse. I learned a lot, about myself as well as about others. It was odd though. I've had similar conversations before with women and all of them have turned out one of two ways. Either one person or the other has been let down by the revelations of the conversation, or we've ended up making out. I guess this time was an exception. Maybe it was just indifference on one or both of our parts. I feel like it was because I didnt get a reaction as I have in the past. All I got was so much matter-of-factness that I may as well have been talking to a vulcan. lol. I dont think that is a bad thing, it is just intriguing. Never have I been so hopelessly unable to gauge an emotional response when talking about something as blatant as what we thought of each other. Maybe there wasn't one and that's why. But even if a girl I was totally indifferent about said what was said, I would most certainly betray something, even if it was only my indifference. Maybe that's why it was so easy to speak candidly, because I was less afraid of being judged. The initial rush was still there, when the tide of the conversation turned I certainly revelled in the anticipation, but at the moment that is usually the moment of judgement, where you discern the other's true intentions, the emotional level just flatlined as if we were talking about what we had for breakfast. The rest of the conversation was great too, and the second major thing that intrigued me was why it was so easy to talk about all this stuff. I am pretty open about my opinions, but that was the kind of conversation I would have with Lyndz or Trent or Amit. Completley open. Given the length of time that we've been "friends," per se, that was strange. She mentioned that she is an easy person to talk to, but the question is why. I hinted above that it is partially because she seems like she won't judge but I'm not sure that's all of it. It could also have something to do with us being kindred spirits in some sense. For example, her enjoyment of list-making allowed my to freely confess all my normally too-nerdy-to-talk-about list making adventures. Similarly, discovering that she once owned TIE Fighter made me much more able to talk about my sci-fi based nerdiness. Maybe talking about those interests, which I usually moderate except for the sake of humour in normal conversation, established a level of trust more quickly than usual and allowed the free exchange of information to move to other areas. I also think it had something to do with genuinely believing in the confidentiality of the conversation. My usual assumption is that if I say something to someone, usually it will find its way into the domain of general knowledge. There are only a few people with whom I trust information I would rather not have generally known. In this case, even though my gut feeling was not to say some of the things I said, I felt like what I said, even the things that might have been a little mean or off-colour, were in safe hands. I may be proven wrong in the future, but that would just be so..unlike her. I think. As mentioned, she's a tough one to read. I suppose that's another reason why it was such a good conversation. I don't really have a clear sense of who she really is at her core. Over the years I think I've seen a lot of different faces, and so she remains somewhat of an engima. From this angle the conversation was intriguing in the same way as a well-played game of bridge (which I have been trying to teach myself recently). I would play a question, and observe the reaction in an attempt to discern the hand she was holding. It wasn't easy, but that's what made it so fun. Overall the exercise wasn't a success, although there were some hints, her fundamental self still remains a bit of a mystery. It will be a great challenge to continue. I know that will sound strange because I have previously attested to the openness of the conversation, and it may seem paradoxical that I was stymied from this angle. However, the factual openness of the conversation contrasted with, at least on her side, an extremely well-fortified wall defending her emotions and motivations. It wasn't something that could be solved by "Ask me anything." because there wasn't a question that I could have asked, other than, "what are you feeling right now?" which would have been somewhat of a strange thing to say I think. I must confess that one of the ulterior motives of this post is to furthur this line of inquiry. Anyhow...that was the conversation that was monday night. A truly terrific bit of wordsmithing. Hopefully it isn't the last.
The Long Road
This post is supposed to be about long-distance relationships and whether I think they are viable or not. I'm not sure if that's what it's going to end up being about, but that's where I'll start. Having two "homes" for at least the next two years means that unless I end up swearing off women, which is unlikely, that I have a fair chance of ending up in one of these situations. I used to think that long distance relationships were silly and impractical, but since I have gotten to know people who have dealt with said relationships I feel as if I have moderated my position. That said, I still feel like you should never enter into any sort of long-distance thing without a certain commitment. People often say that for long-distance to be viable, some substantial groundwork has to already have been laid in the relationship. I don't entirely agree with that, in the sense that you have to have been dating for a long time. Obviously you can't decide when you fall for someone, that's up to fate. I think that the prerequisite for a long-distance relationship is mutual willingness to commit to the timeframe. You don't have a LDR for it's own sake, the idea is that at some point it will no longer be an LDR. For example, if I were to start dating a girl now, we would both have to be quite sure that we would be willing to date the other person for a minimum of 9 months, plus some time to actually reap the fruit next summer. I think it is difficult for people to internally commmit to a lengthy time frame such as that on short notice, but it certainly isn't infeasable. Larissa and I were only good friends for two months or so before summer, and should the opportunity have been afforded me then, I would have been willing to commit for quite a length of time. In that particular case I knew after only a couple weeks. I think cases like that are rare, and it is rarer still for it to be reciprocated, but my point is that the time you know someone beforehand is not as important of a factor as some might think. As in any relationship, the key to an LDR is trust. It is even more of a key in that case. LDR's will not work unless both the people have complete trust in the other's fidelity. This, I have observed, is the downfall of many LDR's. The second key factor is communication. In an LDR, communication is key to maintainting a strong bond. Probably 90% of the LDR's I have observed have either succeeded(to this point), or failed bacause of one of those two factors. I guess my conclusion here is that in my case, for the next two years, if I find myself in a potential LDR, 100% trust and 100% communication have to be deal-breakers. They both are already important and are in the top 10 on the test, but there is a difference between the levels of trust and communication I would normally require and the 100% that I believe is neccesary to an LDR. Speaking of communication, I had a great conversation yesterday which I feel derserves some words, but since it is on a totally different topic, I feel like it needs its own post. Maybe I'll do two posts in one day (woah) or maybe I'll wait till tomorrow. We'll see if work picks up here. Plus I have to think of a good title. Coming up with post titles that encompass the content is one of my favorite parts of blogging. The next post will need a good one.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Playoff Time!
"Here lies a city's heart.
There in her hill lie
her green bones.
Quiet under the clutter
of houses and streets.
And there, in her rivers
run her veins
That long ago
powered her mills.
Her long limbs reach
to the moors
But
Here. Here lies
her throbbing heart"
Calgary's heart is beating faster.
We're ready.
Go Flames Go!
There in her hill lie
her green bones.
Quiet under the clutter
of houses and streets.
And there, in her rivers
run her veins
That long ago
powered her mills.
Her long limbs reach
to the moors
But
Here. Here lies
her throbbing heart"
Calgary's heart is beating faster.
We're ready.
Go Flames Go!
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